Bullying behavior is something that no one should tolerate as it can cause immense damage to the person being bullied and can create havoc with their mental health. Teaching children about bullying and how their words and actions impact others is very useful and must be done in schools and homes to prevent bullying behavior.
So lets understand who bullies are?
Bullies engage in causing repeated verbal or physical harm without any sense of remorse. They often intimidate others into doing what they want. They will mock, laugh, and make the person whom they are bullying feel powerless. Name calling, gossiping and spreading rumors are examples of verbal bullying. Pushing, hitting, shoving are obvious acts of physical bullying.
Now as important as it is to get clarity of what bullying is, it's also important to tell children the difference between mean acts and actual bullying.
What bullying is not?
When someone is intentionally mean only once or twice, it cannot be called bullying. Most of the time this behavior is triggered by a strong emotion like anger. Often the person being mean will end up apologizing.
Also a disagreement with a friend and a single episode of dislike cannot be termed as bullying.
When children understand the difference, it helps them to report incidents accurately and they don't end up claiming everything as bullying which is a grave issue.
Below are few ideas that you can try with your students or children at home to help them prevent bullying behavior.
Have a conversation. Yes! its as simple as that. Talking to children in an explicit manner about bullying will help them understand the concept. Discussing the meaning of bullying, giving them examples of bullying behavior and asking them to share their own experiences around bullying are great conversation starters. Telling them strategies and encouraging them to stand up for themselves will give them tools to use when its is required.
Read books about anti bullying, self esteem and kindness.
There is nothing that a book can't address. Using books is the best way to open up interesting conversations and discussions with children. Age appropriate stories help children to relate with characters and opens up their mind to new concepts. Some of my favorite books around bullying are listed below:
1) Stand Tall Molly Lou Melon by Patty Lovell is a fabulous book that teaches children about believing in themselves no matter what.
2) Spaghetti In a Hot Dog Bun by Maria Dismondy is another book that helps children understand what bullying is and how one can stop it.
3) Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes is an amazing book that talks about verbal bullying, self esteem and acceptance.
4) We are All Wonders by R J Palacio will help inspire kindness and acceptance. The book will give you an opportunity to talk about empathy, accepting differences and kindness with young children.
5) The Recess Queen by Alexis O'Neill talks about conflict resolution. It is a book that children will immediately connect with and will help them realize the power of friendships.
Have clear guidelines around bullying. Ensure that children understand that bullying should not be tolerated. Help them identify people who they can reach out to if they need support. Give them clear step by step methodology to approach and handle people who are mean. Talking friendly, being firm, ignoring, standing up for themselves are just few strategies that can be used.
Teach about emotions. Children who are exposed to emotional vocabulary turn out to be adults who can identify, express and can find ways to mange their feelings. They turn out to be more empathetic and can understand how others might feel in a particular situation. They also tend to have stronger relationships with people around them.
Social and emotional learning should be a daily component of a child's life in school and home. Exposing children to life lessons though conversations, books and discussions is the best way to embark on the SEL journey. It makes for happier, calmer and strong individuals who will grow up to make the world a better place.
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